Monday, March 11, 2013

Monday Mom Confessions

So part of who I am, and how I'm strangely wired, is that I L.O.V.E lists.  Any lists really, but especially funny or random ones.  So today, in honor of my quirk {and who am I kidding, my need to just tell random things about myself} I present my top 5 Mom Confessions from the last week.  If you, like me, love reading other funny (or sad, or true) mom confessions, and happen to be a Tweeter, I would also strong encourage checking out the hashtag #momconfessions will also give you hours of enjoyment.

Confession #1 - Because a) I didn't want to wash extra cups and b) I really hate having to put together the straw cups for my toddler, I washed and reused the same sippy cup all weekend.  (Don't worry I cleaned it!)  He doesn't care, but my mother and grandmother would be absolutely mortified if they knew.

Confession #2 - When my dear son decided he wanted to play with the metal rake this weekend, I directed him to our weed infested flower beds and told him to have fun.  Win Win!  Most of the weeds got pulled and all I had to do was watch and catch a few rays!

Confession #3 - After dragging my poor child around the city for two days of house hunting, I "accidentally" forgot to set the alarm this weekend to get up and go to church.  We all needed the extra sleep!

Confession #4 - I seriously debated giving up my precious lunch hour to run to the grocery store so that I wouldn't have to navigate it later tonight with the toddler.  I ultimately decided against, being that it's poring down rain currently and I really didn't want to get out, a decision I know I will be repeatedly kicking myself over later this evening as I fight the after-work grocery mass with a hungry and tired 2 year old {probably in the rain too}.

Confession #5 - {Climbing on my soapbox now} As a working mother, I'm a huge advocate for work/life balance and companies taking a stand to support women (regardless of their "mother" status).  But few things bug me more than when super wealthy {and successful without argument} women, such as Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, and Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, publically vocalize how "easy" motherhood is or how women should just "lean in rather than pull back when facing [career] obstacles".

Before you jump on me for being judgement, or pick up the pitch fork as well... let me explain this one a little.  I think their underlying message is overall a good thing - that the more women who stand up and take on leadership roles, the greater the likelihood is that companies will have to start evaluating policies to support women, including equal pay.  It's a natural progression.  But their "just get out there and do it" attitude is what rubs me.  As a working mom (who thankfully has a wonderfully supportive husband, with a relatively flexible job) I don't always have the choice as to whether I can "lean in" as Sandberg advocates, because unlike her, my child is in daycare.  A daycare with set hours and set fees if I don't pick him up on time.  So while there have been times in my career where I was able to seize those opportunities that maybe required me to work late for a day or week {with major thanks to the husband}, that isn't something I'm able to do on a regular basis.  And unfortunately, it's those moments - the late night conference calls or the weekend work sessions - that often end up making the difference between being flagged as a go-getter or just another mom.  I also, don't have have the luxury of having a private nanny and nursery in my office, a la Mrs. Mayer, so that I can visit and cuddle my sweet baby anytime I please.  Please understand, I get that they've made significant sacrifices over the course of their careers to get where they are, and I certainly don't begrudge them of that, because at some point they will have (or have had) those "mommy guilt" moments but expecting that all women should simply "accept" those sacrifices as normal not only bothers me, but makes me really question if they understand what being a parent is all about.  With out any question, I could and would work my tail-end off if I was bringing home an annual income of approximately $30 Million, as Sandberg does, or having the earn potential of $71 Million over the next 5 years like Mayer, but the reality is there are months where paying all the bill and putting a little bit into savings is difficult, and for many people, even making all the bills on-time would be a dream!

The reality is being a mother is hard work, and working outside of the home only adds to that.  So when people who can afford to simply say "Sorry I'm leaving and you can't stop me" or "Hold that call because I need to take a couple of minutes to cuddle my baby" marginalize the struggles we face day in and day out, it just sets me off. {Ok - Off my soap box now! Sorry}

So there you have my top 5 mom confessions for this week.  Can't wait to see what this next week brings!

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